Sheridan's Avowal
An open and frank declaration
Backwards therapy.
02 years ago
by Sheridan
in Introspection
After being accompanied to a movie about death by a used graphics card, I grabbed some dinner, walked through a dark cemetery and ate my food on a bench outside a hospital, all while listening to the overemotional Evanescence.
But I was in a pretty good mood. Albeit hearing the worst song ever on the radio in subway irked me, everything else was pretty good.
I thought about comedy, and what it takes, and remembering times when I had that. Also about being nice, and remembering times where I could show that. Thought about death, and how I’m not there. Sickness and the health that I have. Family and how they are a click or phone call away.
Depressing things have the opposite effect. However super cheery things depress me. Watching a happy romance, fairy tale ending would just bum me out. Ha.
Celeb therapy
0I’ve understood that many people foolishly put hopes, happiness in the hands of famous celebrities. Then they scream or cry or have all these crazy emotional reactions to someone they haven’t met. It’s a bit odd, but if there isn’t inspiration or connection in real life, I’m not surprised it happens. Attachments to Michael Jackson have waned, as most people are mere fans of the music due to his … less than inspirational state of the last decade or two. But others, would cause major trauma around the world. Can you imagine if, Groban, Celine Dion died? a Springsteen or Madonna? All sorts of will be deeply saddened and have all these stories of how these celebs gave them strength, or got them through tough times.
For myself, (more…)
Refining process
02 years ago
by Sheridan
in Introspection
I’ve taken a huge blog break. I feel that in the past two months or so, I have had a lot of issues next to me, my analogy is being in a pool, and there are objects all around me.
Some of them are really close, and some people are really close, but instead of trying to swap a downer object for a happy object, and having it get even more crowded, I just thrust them all away, and am left with a lot more space, and room to just be.
Words in this state weren’t really coming. I wasn’t feeling pressure, or much emotion at all. I’m writing this as I come down to coherence and reality from the clouds, because I can’t keep issues away forever. But after my refresh, they certainly fall in a different order.
It’s good to step back, be still, and re-evaluate things…. I just replaced the whole paragraph with the aformentioned simple sentence. But that’s ok, it is a refining process. 
self-accepting
0Is it best to be self improving or self accepting?
Behaviorally, should I think…
a) i want to improve, i need to be less angry.
b) it’s just how it is, i get angry if something sets me off.
Habitually-
a) i want to improve, i need to be more tidy.
b) it’s just how it is, i put things where i feel like.
Abilit-ally
a) i want to improve, i need to be better at chopping tomatoes.
b) i just chop tomatoes how i chop them. if it is not good enough, chop your own tomatoes.
Grammatically
a) I should capitalize I.
b) i shouldn’t 
I really think it is case by case basis. But for the large things, treating people, career skills, major habits, I tend to be more of an improver than accepter. Especially when I consider something bad, or wrong. I think that’s the difference, screaming at a waiter for mixing up an order , to me is wrong, but to someone else they think it is deserved. IMO Just because there is reasoning to be low, doesn’t mean being low is a “good” option. Low can encompass morals, behavior, habits, and … grammar. I think we should strive for a higher standard in all of aspects … provided the output of effort has value.
Free apart
02 years ago
by Sheridan
in Introspection
I don’t know what it is about freedom that we like. But I like it.
well, today I do.
(more…)
i type therefore i am
0My fingers are the way I express myself. I provide my income, and people form opinion of me by the thoughts in my head translated with fingers through a keyboard. Well, whats notable about that? Perhaps whats missing, the immediacy is missing since its at a pace I can control, also it lacks visual cues. A frown, or harsh tone may exist, but with just words on a screen, it won’t be noticed unless it’s intentional.
Another way to communicate, which I dont use, is the phone. I hate the phone. The pacing is so slow, and forced. Plus you don’t get the visual cues either. It’s boring to me and frustrating.
What’s best, which is no surprise, is face to face, full communication.
It just sorta sucks when you don’t have that option. Sometimes it’s quite minor, sometimes it’s quite tragic.
Palma and Murcia
02 years ago
by Sheridan
in Superficial
Oh Palma, quaint town of the sea. How I’ll miss thee. Maybe I’ll go back….
Murcia, I am pretty sure I won’t go back. Not to say it was bad, but its more of a living city than a touring city. (Oh, and The Prodigy amongst others certainly delivered.)
(my photos soon)
In classic blog style, I regurgitate my travel experiences… (more…)
Relationship shoebox theory
0I think the most common relationships are like shoeboxes. They best work when each person puts in a shoe of similar size and weight. Also, both shoes should fit in the box. Personally I have lots of shoeboxes and it works out pretty well by recognizing that.
Things change though when you decide to move a refrigerator. Maybe you start putting your condiments in there, a jar of pickles, tub of yogurt. If one person dominates all the tall items section like with milk, ketchup, juice cartons, it could crowd the other out, or it could be perfectly fine. Depending on the capacity of space, and nature of people. Again, just having the door close keeps the relationship happy.
You can move to the closet where jackets can go, maybe some space for some baggage, or odd things like a skeleton, or pet cougar.
Eventually, maybe with the special person, you just share a house, and all your crap goes in there and it all fits and this game is just over.
However, it breaks down when you have to go backwards. If you have already put a few items in the fridge, where do they go in the shoe box. Do you not put shoes in there any more? What happens to the big jug of milk? Its going to go bad, and its gross.
I think the only way to go backwards is if everything in the fridge got eaten and you dont need it anymore. Perhaps there are other boxes to store your luggage. Cause otherwise leaving stuff outside the box, I’d say is worse than having no box in the first place.
Hammering
0I haven’t written here in a while. I should get my Spain things down in a jiffy, but in the meantime, here is a Jack Handey story.
I remember I was hammering on a fence in the backyard when Dad approached. He was carrying a letter or something in his hand, and he looked worried. I continued to hammer as he came toward me. “Son,” he said, “why are you hammering on that fence? It already has plenty of nails in it.” “Oh, I’m not using nails,” I replied. “I’m just hammering.” (more…)
All over the map – time
0I have been traveling all over the map but in doing so, my wake times have been all over the map. Everything is at a whim, and it just fits how it fits.
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