Sheridan's Avowal

How important are feelings?

Should having certain feelings be the purpose of our efforts?

I have considered the pleasure-seeking mentality as potentially destructive but in all reality i think we all pursue feelings just the same so why do i think I am above this?

I’ve realized a difference with myself is that I want to reach my desires now and also later. By considering later desires I often mute or lower my current desire-satisfaction expectations. Who is to say I am jeopardizing my future anyway? Can I be fully happy now and then later on figure out how to be happy then?

Irregardless of when I want to have my desires met, I always want more. Progress is one of my major passions and if it is a short limited desire, I don’t value it as much. I believe going down roads which end keep me from finding the roads that don’t end. This is a pretty major reason as to why I am single and need to see a substantial amount of potential before I will commit. If a pretty lady walked by and then I asked her out and went out with her, from the simple facts I have stated about her, there is no progress, nothing to make it any better every day. Without this daily growth in appreciation, I don’t want to try. Perhaps I don’t give people enough of a chance, but it seems easier to just peek down these roads than to follow a bunch that will meet their end shortly.

The same thing might apply to hobbies or interests. Part of the reason I like computers so much is because they are ‘future cool’ hah. Yes I say that with a sarcastic tone but its real to some degree. Its not like computers will stop, or I can’t learn any more. I expect it to progress faster than I can keep up, which is somewhat disheartening but still a nice pursuit to have for me. What other pursuits do people have? To advance in these pursuits is often considered dangerous which really messes me up. If I wanted to do drugs, I want to do more and harder drugs and then I would just be a shell of a human. No, I don’t want to do drugs, but the nature of such a pursuit seems flawed by design. Even if the first stage isn’t so bad, that wouldn’t be enough. Even for less driven people, curiosity and dissatisfaction with stagnation will push them whether they intend on being pushed or not. If I had a passion for wearing new clothes, I would want more and more new clothes and just be wasteful. But there are good passions too, ones that are similar and aren’t as destructive by nature. An admirer of style or fashion may continue to seek more and learn more without letting it destroy their wallet. So how do you tell which desires are destructive and which desire is stronger in your heart? I think it is easy to trick ourself in saying we are on a positive desire path when really we are on the underside.

How does that work with love? physically or emotionally … I need another blog about that. Or maybe its exactly the same.

Anyway, I find myself in my friendships hearing about their feeling traps. Its like they’re looking for water and either they found some dirty puddle and keep coming back to it, or they are in the desert and dying of thirst. I can point them to a slightly better supply, or tell them how gross their water is. Maybe I can tell them of some wonderful supply that I myself don’t even know where it is. But I have hope and and general direction I can point them to. Does that really help them? Maybe they like their dirty puddle. Maybe it is deeper than I see and the contents of the water are stomachable. I know most people let them be but is it from my own hope’s sake that I push them? If I let them be, does that mean I too will settle for my murky water supply? I will not give up hope for myself or for others. Keep Hope Alive.