Sheridan's Avowal
An open and frank declaration
Transform, then Rollout!
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Carrying on from the last blog, I realize that making the best use of time is having the proper mood or attitude in the present scenario. I think it could sound phony if I needed to transform, but I’ve realized part of being mature is to be in control over feelings.
Sheridan, Rollout!
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My last post is a bit gloomy, and no i’m not depressed or giving up. Although tonight I did have fast food, hah! It was only because it was inconvenient to go home. But I’m doing great? Lots of greats and a couple notsogreats, but I feel up overall. And wordy, so here goes.
Oh, its a twofer, this one is first
accomplishing the inconsequential
14 years ago
Successful days on my own without breaking down… apx two weeks. and no longer counting.
I am doing great? I’ve had some accomplishments! I’m making progress at work, i can be friendly in various situations, I’ve cooked decent and cheap meals, bought and built sweet lookin solid metal/glass furniture. Umm oh and i got a bed and made a square frame with three pieces and didn’t even use one of them! Although that took me a day to figure out.
It feels really empty, like all these efforts crash down. I am doing very ordinary things. And they are for my own slight benefit. What overall difference is there between being a slob or a good bachelor? I think the output of my life would be pretty much the same if i just stayed home and did nothing. Any points I get are on the normal scale, and to me that scale is pretty useless. I’ve heard people’s goals to grow up, have a nice household with as few problems as possible and enjoy life. This to me is a waste. A purely normal life will get rounded down to zero. I hate the normal life because i want to be extranormal. (If i used the word, ordinary, my point would have been more smooth.)
I call my mom, write a facebook message and fire off a txt. This is the fruitful part of my week? So many things are drying up, i expected to talk to hometown-ers less but even internet-ers are distancing. I am an island?
I used to do my ‘ready for death’ checks to see if i needed to accomplish a goal, mend a relationship, be honest about something, overcome some struggle, …. before i felt ok about ending this life. I usually had to think for a while about all the things in my life and if they were all headed in a good direction before I felt i was ready to die.
Now I just think… of course I can die, well, aside from the feelings of my mother father brother, what else do I need to consider? My life is not even on the playing field of dealing with consequential matters — which is i guess the phase that I’m at in life. I have to build up to get to a place of eternal merit. Learning how to speak is ordinary and it certainly has been useful too. I’m just not used to being completely inconsequential.
Being Healthy
1So yesterday i was tired from shopping all day and walking. It was around dinner time and I just said.. whatever I’ll get a box of kfc. It came with some sides which taste like how i imagine prison food slop is.
Anyway I found this today, which will take a long time to load and might break the flogblog thing in facebook
So how do you eat healthily (yes it has -ly)? I’m eating a carrot right now, I have a box of not-candy granola bars to take to work as well as a 6 pack of v8s! I also like bringing yogurt for lunch. And eating lettuce. Just for lettuce sake.
Employee and churching it
2So! I am finally an employee. And I likeit? I’m pretty tired from
1 waking up (a few times… joys of crowded home)
2 debating about making a lunch (I just shoved yogurt and deli meat in my pocket)
3 showering (brr its cold! my towel felt cold/wet before even using it)
4 walking to work (3km takes ~30min it was quite icy though),
5 getting set up at work,
6 going to dollar store (coat hangars+shaving cream woot woot) / starbucks for lunch,
7 being at work reading and meeting ppl,
8 walking back,
9 making dinner (leftover fried chicken/spinach roll, some lettuce+cheese, and banana loaf) and
10 firing off my emails, IMs and this blog.
Its only 8pm but i’m pretty much prone and don’t feel like moving. I can’t wait for my bed to arrive (next week) cause right now i’m in the common room couch and its not really my space.
Back to work, i am working on undisclosable (shh secret) game (sports?) project! Yay, i’m being a keener too because i love sports and games. There are a lot of technical people who come out of university with degrees and i’m not really one of the typical types. I see myself like the managers and leads in many ways, so i hope to learn a lot where i dont know anything and work my way up there soon.
Yesterday, I double churched, something that i’ve done many many times back home just for something to do. This time i’m trying to find a ‘community’. The first church i went to was quite small, met in the movie theatre and talked about community! They are starting small groups at the end of this 4 week sermon series. It seems maybe too small, but i liked it on some level. Second church i went to was a PAoC pentecostal tabernacle. It was in yet another old style church (there is an old-style church on every corner) with a vast majority of seniors with a few ‘youngins’ , but no middles? I really enjoyed the worship and the sermon was delivered quite well too from an older but hip irish fellow. There’s another church (mennonite brethren) i want to scout at the evening service but i can see myself going back to this pentecostal one most sundays. They are having a young adults meeting on dalhousie campus on tuesday that i’ll check out. Next week i will check out either the baptist church across the street or the on-campus ‘real life community’ church . lots of choices! they are all good i’m sure, but which is best for me?
how long until i make this home?
Here are some recent photos
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| movinghfax |
clothe clothe!
0So I was lookin for some more longsleeve shirts and i thought, hey! i have some that i’ve designed but not bought yet. So i bought them. On sale! spreadshirt has a sale until jan14 (coupon code: CADnewyear08 ) for 20.08% off
My Store Oh, i can make any changes easily so fire a comment or something if you’d like to see anything. I’m also working on a couple other design ideas.
Another diary of f to the izzax
0H to the izzally
F to the izzax
So the first day I was zonked, i got to the airport at like 8 or so, had a BK enourmous omelette burger. Shuttled into town, met roommates, set up my room (ok, i just plugged in my laptop and took socks out of my PC) inflated my bed, nerded it up, and slept.
Day two, was shopping day! I woke up really early and set up my 360 to play some of my christmas gift! Halflife2… i’ve played it before so i just wanted to get to a cool part. Its truly an amazing game for those who havent played it. I haven’t finished it yet so i have to do so to earn my gamer reputation back. (Its my job now)
I walked over to the mall and checked out the bay, which has like the scariest stairwell ever, plus when i got to the top, it was locked so i went back down and was actually hoping not to run into any rapists. I made it back down and took an elevator up to the bay. It’s connected to this ‘mall’ thing that has a couple random things, vacant spaces and some professional offices. Oh, there’s a yoga studio upstairs, a pile of ladies (no mom, i doubt they were single or under 40) were getting out jst as i showed up. I was pretty depressed since i thought this was the main mall other than the downtown strip.
I walked outside and found out that there was a shoppers, walmart, sobeys, and a few other random things connected, but not indoors. ONe of those random things was a first choice haircutters and i got my hair cut! yay. The lady who cut my hair chatted me up well. I was on my way to check out sears which was one of the bigbox things that i saw from the bay. Well! Sears is connected to a real mall, you know the kinds with stores and people and things to buy! It looked pretty big, and has 170 shops! even though they are including some that are accessible outdoors.
I bought some hooks, garbage can, shampoo, mandarin oranges, mug (that got smashed on way home), slippers, duvet, and a bed! I found a pizza place buffet which also had salad and pasta. Oh, this is my first non-snack meal since that BK omelette. Needless to say i need to buy some groceries. But hey! all you can eat! I got way more than my $10 worth, and i would love to go back, they had this sweet barbeque steak pizza that was so good. They also had two dessert pizzas mmmm. Pizza delight!
Bed arrives in like 10 days though 
its really comfy and i bought a frame too so i can sit on it and so i can have space underneath.
So now its morning, i dont know what day it is. Hah. Groceries day! As soon as its a bit warmer out and the stores open i’ll go hit superstore which is nearby. Meanwhile i am writing this all up and waiting for gossipgirl to finish downloading 
Halifax is where i am
2Halifax is nice, seems like my parents will get the last laugh and make me break down and get some slippers. My feet are mostly cold or wet feeling even indoors. I feel like I’m camping so far.
I travelled and slept mostly on day one with a bit of flames victory partaking. Now as i write this, its almost time to go out and explore and buy things. I am fully representing calgary well with flames jersey hoodie and hat! They just see the albertan money coming so i hope for extra good service.
potent quotables?
0I write a lot, here are some compressed thoughts in perhaps a cold shell. Its 5am, so this is what i came up without trying to sound tactful.
I have proof to prove the opposite of this, but its come up more times than not.
add one male, one female, and four cups of love remove one cup of inlove makes eleventy cups of jumbled confusion. Served hot or cold, one to two servings. Now comes with Sheridan’s sincere apologies at no extra charge
and bluntness apologies ahead of time, perhaps it should be gender neutral so swap girl/boy to suit yourself…
if your girlfriend responsibilities match the services of an escort service, guess what, you’re not a girlfriend, you just cost less.
And also, not very wise at all, just weird thought
If you have no face, I can’t talk to you very well.
and by this i mean…
I prefer to message on facebook over email because of faces. I also stick photos of people for contacts in my phone so I see their face before i make a call or answer the phone. I really struggle with audio only conversations. My criteria of who to marry has been expanded to two items. These two items now include #1 is a female, #2 has a face.
theoretical couple thoughts
0I don’t think passions need to be shared. But being tolerated is not enough. There needs to be understanding and encouragement because keeping passions alive through adversity is important. A couple should include two separate prosperous identities working together for benefits both mutually and externally.
Quirks or characteristics need to be embraced as well. I think a reason why oppositeness is important is that when these weird things are duplicated, there aren’t the same checks and balances. Dysfunction piled on to dysfunction leads to comfortable and perpetuated dysfunction, which doesn’t help anyone. The best way for an idiosyncrasy to be validated or kept under control is by an objective source.
Losing identity or passion leads to two less than whole parts. Does 1+1=1 or 1+1=3? If 1+1=1, maybe to begin with the individuals aren’t whole. 0.5 + 0.5 leads to 1, but how often do things improve if you are only half strength? If anything it will lead to mutual downfall. Relationships should be about two complete people who are doing well alone, but are even better together.
