Thoughts

Twitter.. “Random and incoherent as writing on a bathroom wall” – Mockumentary trailer about Twitter

I am not alone, but I think twitter is killing explored thought. You can express a small amount of information, or a slice of personality but it is so easy to sound generic, or to put on a front. I follow some random celebrities and the best ones are like Rainn Wilson known as Office’s Dwight. He presents criticisms of culture combined with his dry wit and a lot of images or articles to support his thought. He is up to 2 million followers and they all get to see this side of Rainn. I also follow the Prime Minister of Canada who tweets about govt policy, and humanitarian @billgates, tweets about saving the world
All of them show one identity; their twitterface.

The reason I think twitter is killing explored thought is that I can’t ever get a real sense of who Rainn is, or why is how he is, unless he goes on a crazy @kanyewest apology rant with 70 tweets in one night. This is absurd and not the point of twitter at all. The point is to be mindless and concise. Heartless even more than mindless. When you are communicating ‘fun’ thoughts to two million people, it is easier to not get your heart in the way. Without knowing your audience, the most surefire way to appeal to the most possible is to be highly generic. If you talk about something very specific with a long backstory, or what is sad, or happy, or issues in life, these two million followers may unfollow.

I think a major reason a lot of this happens is because people bear their own burdens and dont want to hear about others, or unload on to others either. As a populace we can be interdependent on a fun chit-chat level, but when it gets real, we become islands of isolation. There is some safety and predictability in this obvious human tendency to turtle up. You can’t really get additionally hurt if you dont let anyone in. Certainly the opposite is bad: being an emotional mess crying in front of everyone about getting dumped is heavily misguided and probably causes lost respect in general. I sometimes feel shameful in saying I have a blog since many of them are exactly this: Emo girl rants about boys, american idol, vampires and punk rock adds up to be excruciatingly painful to read.

So we need to put on a face that is appropriate for the relationship and communication medium. The most superficial and one-dimensional of them all is the twitterface. But there is also the workface, streetwalkingface, doctorface, and others. Sometimes a good workplace, or a good doctor will create an environment to allow more personality angles to shine through, but at the outset it is usually safest to be strictly professional, or strictly medicinal.

I feel uniquely comfortable with my blog because I feel able to present a lot more than I normally could in my day to day. I don’t have to worry about who can spend 5 minutes to read about my primitive thoughts on psychology or sociology because this is written to be written, not to be read. Twitter I think is more designed to be read. The workplace by definition revolves around getting work done. But a personal blog can be anything. Where else can one uninhibited to be who they want to be? Not twitter.

For the past, month perhaps, my state of being has not been particularly communicable. The answer to, ‘how are you’, was often, ‘i dont know’. Then I didn’t really feel I had much of a place to start conversations with other people if I was unable to communicate with myself. I had some moments of automation which did not require the real Sheridan to be uncovered.

I can help people and be functional with work and things without actually being Sheridan. I suppose that is still who I am, but it has become second nature to the point where even if my imaginary dog dies, I can still help you with your boyfriend or explain the projectile motion used in my game. Because I can perform most tasks that I do in a normal week, I have not felt an urgent need to evaluate myself. People who ask how I am doing don’t really need to know. Nor do I. Auto-pilot Sheridan is pretty decent.

I found more and more solace in my foreign language music. When taking a break from kpop or jrock I jumped over to my original non-english love, french dancypop. I was excited for Lost again, a television show that has more things that don’t make sense, than ones that do. And some more music that messes with my head. Breakbeat Trip-hop.

I became fascinated about learning very random topics. Celebrated holidays in Korea including White Day, Green Day, Hug Day; the lunisolar calendar which I can’t really quite grasp how it re-aligns itself; Watching David Blaine explain how he can oxygenate his lungs and then go under water for 17 minutes with a near certain belief he would blackout; a Japanese pop star with a entirely computer generated voice and a green haired anime girl; these make up some of the things on my mind lately.

These things don’t really make sense, nor are they particularly relevant to anything in my life. It is easier to avoid thinking about my state if I keep my brain in a world in which I don’t participate in. I suppose that’s part of the appeal of role playing games, fantasy novels, and hallucinogenetic drugs. But I wouldn’t know from experience. Frankly they scare me.

So ya, brain disconnection. I will leave you with this JRock engrish gem.
“There is the time level that wants to bark at even whom.
I let you sing ’cause there is few it and is good, and send it.”

The number of people we come across can grow to be large. In social situations, sometimes nothing becomes of it. It fizzles, it ends, it doesn’t have to be someone’s fault. Maybe you don’t find the same things funny, or you don’t understand their perspective; perhaps there are different shared interests. Sometimes you develop a good relationship with repeated communication, good times. And then you have those people where you can be totally unguarded. I’m going to categorize these by how one might initially greet them.

1. Oh, you… – There are times where I just feel unliked, or like a different species. I worry that I’m a hindrance or getting in the way — cramping their style. My presence is unwanted, and perhaps theirs is unwanted for me. Much of the time, these are petty things, being small minded, or judgmental. However, nobody says you have to befriend everyone, sometimes that initial butting of heads is something you don’t really want to put effort to overcome so that is that. Perhaps you put up with each other and form a working relationship if it is absolutely necessary, but rarely will anyone do more than the minimum.

2. Oh, hi – For me, I can usually grab a high percentage of people, and make something of it. Perhaps it isn’t much, but talking here and there even if it is uncomfortable or different. It sometimes can be interesting to hear about the differences, or topics totally unrelated. Maybe I’d like to know why Nascar is interesting to so many people. We might not be the best of friends, but if I feel like it, I probably can form some sort of friendliness if they have some warmth or openness (and I feel like it at that time). These “relationships” can easily be a one time deal, or just left to develop and reoccur based on circumstance and coincidence. I don’t think I’d call these people friends, or even acquaintances, just people you’ve met or run into occasionally.
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