Introspection

This expletive’n world

1 year ago

by Sheridan in Introspection

expletive’n world…. (more…)

sadbomb

1 year ago

by Sheridan in Introspection

Why don’t I have something to write, well I do I just dont want to push publish.
(more…)

After being accompanied to a movie about death by a used graphics card, I grabbed some dinner, walked through a dark cemetery and ate my food on a bench outside a hospital, all while listening to the overemotional Evanescence.

But I was in a pretty good mood. Albeit hearing the worst song ever on the radio in subway irked me, everything else was pretty good.

I thought about comedy, and what it takes, and remembering times when I had that. Also about being nice, and remembering times where I could show that. Thought about death, and how I’m not there. Sickness and the health that I have. Family and how they are a click or phone call away.

Depressing things have the opposite effect. However super cheery things depress me. Watching a happy romance, fairy tale ending would just bum me out. Ha.

Refining process

2 years ago

by Sheridan in Introspection

I’ve taken a huge blog break. I feel that in the past two months or so, I have had a lot of issues next to me, my analogy is being in a pool, and there are objects all around me.
Some of them are really close, and some people are really close, but instead of trying to swap a downer object for a happy object, and having it get even more crowded, I just thrust them all away, and am left with a lot more space, and room to just be.
Words in this state weren’t really coming. I wasn’t feeling pressure, or much emotion at all. I’m writing this as I come down to coherence and reality from the clouds, because I can’t keep issues away forever. But after my refresh, they certainly fall in a different order.

It’s good to step back, be still, and re-evaluate things…. I just replaced the whole paragraph with the aformentioned simple sentence. But that’s ok, it is a refining process.

Free apart

2 years ago

by Sheridan in Introspection

I don’t know what it is about freedom that we like. But I like it.

well, today I do.
(more…)

Don't doubt the moon

3 years ago

by Sheridan in Introspection

I dont know where reality went. Are mangoes even real?
I seem to only see them cubed, or blended.
I’ve never seen them on a plant.

I don’t doubt the moon.

A circle is not interlocked with others.

I find connection with delusional incomprehensibilities.
Mental patients in tv/movies are too relatable.
The TV show Lost clicks in my head.
The view outside my window does not.
I wonder if relationships are wax figures.
Or the opposite, where instead of appearing real
Everything is real except appearance.

My words are my friend.
But a connection? no,
Is holding your own hand a connection?
What is a self high five but sheer idiocy?
Blog writing may have evidence and spans time
But where is evidence for reality? After time what do I have?
Selfinteraction would fit in well at an institution. Except it isn’t a word
I wish I had a psychiatrist – to be told when I’m dreaming
To just tell random stories and play connect four in pajamas.

looking sad in a cave

3 years ago

by Sheridan in Introspection

bing bong kablammo
sad stuff here below.
Proceed with caution.
Poetry ‘n motion

(If this 4 line poem gets put on a bus, poetry in motion people truly have no quality control)
oh, right, back to the sad stuff
(more…)

ldr

3 years ago

by Sheridan in Counsel, Introspection

As a recent victim of LDR, long distance relationship, I have to look back as to what it was all about.

In one of my peak moments, someone asked me how it was dating someone far away. I told them it was flat out awful, why would I say such a thing? When it blows up in my face, how would I describe it then? Well let me try. LDR’ers good luck! You’ll need it.

(more…)

dangerous

3 years ago

by Sheridan in Introspection

I dont think I’ve ever been so dangerous,
However dangerous sounds sorta cool, this certainly isn’t
In strength I can avoid danger and be careful
In weakness it is hard to care, I don’t know what will happen.

Embarrass or Betrayal

3 years ago

by Sheridan in best, Counsel, Introspection

What happens when I don’t really like telling people what I’m all about, what I do? I don’t think people value the same things, or believe me that I’m real about it. I want to change the world which seems to be laughable these days? I also want to try hard, which also seems to be against the flow? “You put on a tie?! We are in tshirts, stop being different.”

But then I could be differently motivated. I could be at the top. Impress people at their game, the cultural game. Yet I feel like I’d be contradicting myself; I’d betray my other values?

So what is in the middle?
I know I want to change the circumstances of my life, I want to move forward but does this come at a cost of where I’ve come? Maybe I can have different priorities now. That should be acceptable. If I am used to putting effort toward my career, and helping people as friends first, how do I change that? I have to give something up. I have to change my mode of attack. I have to work on other areas that have value too. “culture’s game” of the night life and the romance life is not without merit. Why can’t I just do it all? Or work on these areas?

I think it is safer to keep the priorities I’ve had than to make new ones. What happens if I’m not good at the new objectives? I know I’m not good at the new objectives. I don’t have any guides or a safety net. Maybe it’s just not me? How am I supposed to be a friend husband father and that if I can’t really make the initial stuff happen?

Nothing new here, but another list of self-help gibberish.