An open and frank declaration
Counsel
Character
04 years ago
I think i’ve written about this before, but defending my character and honor is worth an extremely high amount to me. It is who I am, and I am willing to endure attacks and unrest for the preservation of this.
But on the other hand, I am willing to admit flaws and things I am working on ? I readily admit fault and I am a good apologizer I guess. I dont actually take those things as hurting my character? Perhaps because I respect people more who admit their mistakes and are willing to do something about it.
I am willing to do anything to improve my character, well as long as fear doesn’t overwhelm me. Stupid fear, why must things like rejection or failure hold me back! They might not even be manifested , I could be successful and yet the possibility still bothers me.
Most of all I just want to be Sheridan, and I feel so powerful when I am the person I’m made to be, its like when I am walking on the road that was laid out for me, I can sprint and jump and have sure footing! It’s awesome. However getting off track is scary, and there are times that I’ve really fallen and caused a lot of hurt, not only for myself but for others. I wish I could learn how important it was to stay true without messing up. But messing up sure has taught me that I dont want to mess up again.
Also, I think the way I can be a positive influence or help others is to be in a good place myself. Two messed up people can sorta maybe make a hodgepodge of fixing but I’d rather be in a good place before I can extend my hand out for others. And when I mess up I hope the person I reach out for is also in a solid place since there are many sources of ‘help’ that aren’t actually helpful at all.
making dreams with people
0
making dreams which involve other people require them to make the same dreams too? Plus we probably will have dreams that need to be with people we haven’t yet met or spawned.
I think individual dreams are necessary to pursue independent of others. Artistic ambitions, character building ‘finding myself’ journeys, and career ambitions are the ones I can think for myself which I think have merit so don’t delay! Follow your nose! Toucan Sam found his fruit loops by himself didn’t he?
theoretical couple thoughts
0I don’t think passions need to be shared. But being tolerated is not enough. There needs to be understanding and encouragement because keeping passions alive through adversity is important. A couple should include two separate prosperous identities working together for benefits both mutually and externally.
Quirks or characteristics need to be embraced as well. I think a reason why oppositeness is important is that when these weird things are duplicated, there aren’t the same checks and balances. Dysfunction piled on to dysfunction leads to comfortable and perpetuated dysfunction, which doesn’t help anyone. The best way for an idiosyncrasy to be validated or kept under control is by an objective source.
Losing identity or passion leads to two less than whole parts. Does 1+1=1 or 1+1=3? If 1+1=1, maybe to begin with the individuals aren’t whole. 0.5 + 0.5 leads to 1, but how often do things improve if you are only half strength? If anything it will lead to mutual downfall. Relationships should be about two complete people who are doing well alone, but are even better together.
Advice to women
0Good guys guess terribly, they need to learn.
Terrible guys will never learn so unleash a good slap.
Define me
14 years ago
My “success” (or lack there of) with girls does not define me.
I think this has saved me from spending tons of money and many heartache.
I wonder if people get that or not. It came up in conversation with the guys in my cabin, but I’m not sure if they thought I was just too lame or that I was faking it when I said it wasn’t a big deal for me.
Muddy Water
0Common Speech … another one
the emotional part needs to be considered, but it isn’t everything
being lonely or having that nice warm feeling isn’t enough if you aren’t right for each other
use your brain and look circumstances and actions, and where your life is going
well plus even with your heart
covering up a small problem now only to have more heart issues later is not a good idea.
You can’t be afraid to lose what you have now especially if you think it could get worse later.
i think you just need some love and support right now, so you can get by without getting it from this guy
cause if you dont have love you’ll just get it from anywhere you can even if it sucks
its like you need water
but if all you have is muddy water you’ll drink it i guess
but there’s other water supplies so don’t drink that crap
Letting go
0Common Speech again… let go.
You have real feelings, i hear them loudly from you
and you are just fighting them because your brain knows better
There is no easy solution. Its like your heart has a hand
and it is gripping the idea of ___ really really strongly.
Your brain is trying to pull off the fingers
but it isn’t strong enough and it just hurts
with the clawing and the fighting.
So just wait until the heart lets go a little bit
and then it wont be so bad.
Try to do things that warm your heart up a bit
or find alternatives like friends that care about you.
Thats why friends are so important,
because your heart can latch onto them when you’re in need.
—
And pray to God, he always comforts like no human can.
He knows what you’re going through and what you need.
Selfish Guys
0This is another common speech of mine, its nothing new but the problem seems to be very present… Selfish Guys. (and girls too)
By nature guys don’t treat people well unless they’re getting something. Then once they are getting something, they only treat people just well enough so they can maintain. If they are treating people like dirt but still getting what they want, then thats where they’ll stay. It definitely wouldn’t improve, why would it? Then over time, it might actually slide lower and lower because with time comes a stronger relationship, therefore they can weaken the relationship a little bit and the other person will stay with it just because of habit or circumstantial commitment. Then when some noises are made and they aren’t getting what they want, they will amp it up with big gestures, all the fancy words and great gestures. They can play ‘the game’ for months, its really easy for some people. I bet I could even spur on all those nice feelings without meaning it (not that I will or have). Even if there are tiny holes in their facade, the other person might not see because they don’t want to see. Anyway, all this work is to get back what they have and and they can slide back into the ‘barely above minimum’ mode.
So don’t buy it! Find someone who wants to give and make your life better with genuine intentions. If it sorta sucks now, why do you expect it to get any better? And don’t be so selfish to be barely good enough, put effort in, and learn that making someone else better off is truly the best way to go.
Mismatched relationships
0I find most things relate to friendships, significant others..ships, and all relationships i guess.
Some relationships are uneven. Probably most of them.
Most often people don’t say where they are, or what they want as a result of the relationship.
This is just a communication breakdown.
Solution: Talk.
But then there’s the other side where one person wants more than the other. Or a different direction.
Same old story
Boys meets girl and she falls much harder than him
–Paris Hilton (lol!)
Ok, forget that quote, that is not the only applicable scenario.
What happens when everyone knows the two directions but they don’t line up? Well I think its pretty flawed and its really hard to get it back on track.
(more…)
less than one two three
0(revised)
- I <1 most people
- I <2 some people,
- I have strong <2 but still isn't <3
- People in my experience expect <0
- They think <1 is pretty special
- They grab hold of <2 so tightly
because they really want it to be <3
- The problem is general decency can be perceived as <1
- Most people give <0 or <-1 if they aren't trying to get something
So then people might think that extra feeling is <2 when really its just one relational step that develop as quickly as a few hours. - What happens after more growth, maybe week or month or so makes even stronger feelings? That feeling but its stronger than nothing, and its stronger than a little bit, so it must be <3 Societal '<3' is a house of cards on top of a brick or two.
- I wish more people knew what love was and what ‘it’ should feel like and the gravity of ‘it’ when its real. Also the word love in itself is difficult to use. Someone, including me might say ‘I love you’ but its probably not <3
If you read this, I <1 you 
Or maybe <2...
(Note to mom: I have no prospects for <3 so don't ask.)
