expletive’n world….

Side note: If I dont use an expletive, then sometimes I can not just add enough intensifying weight. If I replace it with an adjective like “really”, “hella” or “freakin” then, it sounds stupid. My favorite expletive is Fardels! but I think that would just be confusing. (Fardel n 1: bundle 2: burden)

This world was very much hidden to me in my blissful youth and since I’ve become an adult I’ve seen addicts in an alley cook crack in a spoon among many other things. I think it is overwhelmingly saddening to realize how dark the world is without a strong enough base. Like if a monsoon hits, those little shacks made with sticks are not going to survive. I’m not sure how I’d turn out if I was taught some of these things as a teen. I am a strong believer in the concept of movie ratings for exactly this reason. IMO, nobody with a weak mind should watch Oldboy, or even read about Oedipus. Some concepts and visuals just shake the shacks too much. So, the following content is not sugar coated or kid-friendly, it is raw.

The reality is:
1. Sometimes life suddenly expletive sucks. Misery happens. Calamities happen. Some circumstances suck, a lot.
2. Sometimes life has always expletive sucked. What is it like to be an orphan in central africa? I honestly don’t have a grasp on what it would be like to be born into many awful scenarios. It is not as simple as a 2 minute world vision splash or news flash can portray. I mean, the guy in tunisia set himself on fire. I cannot relate.
3. Sometimes there are problems and we tell each other everything is going to be ok, what the expletive do we know? We just lie for happiness-sake. Are we fixing anything? A lie is not a lasting fix.
4. Sometimes when we enjoy blessings, we are patting ourself on the back like we deserve it or are entitled to that which we are given. This is a a sick expletive joke to those without. Try to explain to someone who just lost their husband that you are somehow better, and thats why you still have yours. Try to justify Charlie Sheen’s spending to one of my yardworkers by telling them Charlie deserves millions more than they do and they just need to … “try harder”. Why is extravagant a “good” adjective, and yet exorbitant is bad? Don’t they mean the same thing?

Because of this:
1. Some people can become sick expletives, malicious selfish and destructive. I think it is because only they see this expletive expletive reality but not any true real joy.
2. Some people can be choose to be blind. There are many methods to cove your eyes and shout ‘lalalalalala’ in today’s world.
3. Some people choose to believe they are contributing to the solution when they are contributing to the problem. Perhaps by direct damage, or maybe indirectly by dirtying the medicine so to speak, I’ve explained this before.

The lie is:
1. My problems are impossibly bad. FML, Fardels my life. It is totally justified for me to react as strongly as I want to.
2. The circumstances dictate my attitude.
3. My reflex nature causes bad actions without my control.
4. My problems go away when I ridicule other people’s problems, when I trigger chemical releases in my brain, or when I merely endure the day.
5. My opinion or view of the world is right and

For the past few months now, I have grown to loathe to many kinds of people. I am sure I could list a hundred qualities that I see in everyday life that I think adds to the problem of this expletive world. But to relentlessly complain about others is one of those qualities that I loathe so I’m not going to put myself on that list, I don’t want to be one of those people. I also don’t want to try to fix it cosmetically with a smile or ‘there there’. I seek real solutions and I want to look back at my life and if someone re-read every letter I wrote, or re-heard every word I said, that I would not make any situation worse, in fact I would hope that I would feel satisfied in my efforts and attitude.

Personally, this is a become a problem for me because it is very isolating which has drained my effort to contribute. I have lost many of the kind of people who are willing to get dirty. The concept of having a team of people with the same goals and ideals is so empowering, it is just the opposite disempowering effect with that concept lost. It is not very hard to find clean cut surface nice good people who will help you pick up your dropped items in a spotless shopping mall, but how do you determine truly good people who are actually doing something about this expletive world. If you drop your items in a lions den, or in a pile of expletive, will those clean nice people jump in? I would suspect many would just say some pointless “consoling” words and go on with their day. Will your drinking buddy jump in? I would suspect this type to laugh at you and keep drinking so that is no help either.

However, it is not fair to judge everyone with a negative brush, or assume that everything is lost and gloomy. As I write this after a sleepless night, I hear birds chirping their morning tune. Should I hate the bird because it does not understand my problems? Should I assume everyone in a tie is too busy chasing money, or that nobody in my city wants to talk to me? I very often see people use too broad of a stroke and it really bothers me, yet I too often lump giant people groups together when they should not be prejudged that way. Just like not all Canadians play ice hockey, and not all Nazis killed Jews, I need to realize that, some people who disappoint me are not the the entirety of people who I know. Nor are they necessarily attributes of people I do not yet know. Not everyone is blind to the world, or making the world worse. There are some valiant soldiers out there, who hold on to true wisdom, true hope, true joy, and combat the lies and despair of this world. I too have had moments of valiance and I feel that a breakdown is necessary to get back up and fight the good fight. The truth will set people free and if you dont know the Way to Truth and Life, then we should have a conversation. If you do know it, then fight the fight, all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that brave men do nothing. The world has a lot of evil, so don’t make it worse, and don’t do nothing.