My blogs and notebooks have gone for quite a while untouched.
The questions like, how are you doing, or how is life have gone unasked.
Or in the cases they are asked, the tone or audience is bothersome.
So what happens to my mind, and soul if they are left to their lonesome?

I have known this before about myself, and I think it is a general human trait. My thoughts loop when I don’t get them out. I don’t escape from them, but I hope they fade away. I can numb them or distract myself from them but that is just as productive as shutting my eyes in the face of a mountain lion. It is still there. When I open my eyes I will see it, and if I close my eyes shut, it can still get me.

So what do I think about? What does any single 25 year old games programmer think about? Women, specific ones, and the concepts of them. Career, current job and the concepts of future ones. Games, movies, food, drink, laughs, normal things.

Is this a problem though, no, not really, it is normal, it happens, it is _ordinary_. GASP, yes! it is a problem! I hate the idea of being ordinary. I believe what has kept me unique has a lot to do with my analysis in writing, and exploration of thoughts feelings in word form. Also talking to smart people, wise people who have positive things to say, important questions to ask, and a level of respect and wisdom that is above the ordinary.

Admittedly though, I haven’t been totally ordinary, or ventless. I’m big on asian culture lately. Also I have a pile of video game thoughts that would probably be smart to compile into a gaming blog. I had some fun being normal, going out with people, having simple fun being dramaless has been nice for my sleep patterns. That being said, I still wish to be weirder, and more Sheridany, and write more.