Three good stories. Or not so good. Depends what measuring scale you use.

[23:27] Sheridan: maybei can just talk aimlessly :-)
[23:27] audience: go ahead

[23:29] Sheridan: Amara is a pineapple lady, one without any pineapples but a distinct joy of frogs. The frog that started her affection was named Rupert. But Rupert was a bad frog and killed Amara’s half uncle Pedro. Rupert had a son named Alfonso and he and Amara grew to be best friends
[23:29] audience: lmfao
[23:30] Sheridan: Alfonso then decided to fight an evil frog to defend his friend Amara but the evil frog threw a pineapple at him!
[23:30] Sheridan: Amara, the pineapple lady, kicked the pineapple and crushed the bad frog, but it turned out to be Amara’s other half uncle Jim
[23:30] Sheridan: and she weeped sadly for she had no more family
[23:30] Sheridan: the end
[23:32] audience: hahaha
[23:32] audience: cute
[23:32] audience: and sad
[23:32] audience: and strange

Sheridan Three: gunther was a pizza delivery boy, he decided to follow a pretty girl home one day
Audience: heheh
Audience: gunther?
Sheridan Three: he had an extra pizza
Audience: mmm
Sheridan Three: but the house he was supposed to deliver it to was destroyed by neo nazis in a rage of political tyrnanny
Audience: LOL
Sheridan Three: umm, so the pizza was ham bacon and mushroom
Sheridan Three: otherwise known as the Canadian
Audience: right
Sheridan Three: so gunther decided this would be a good peaceful gift to give a young pretty girl he hadn’t met yet
Sheridan Three: because Canadian seems like the most welcoming of all the pizzas
Sheridan Three: The girl who had a bee in the car was driving erratically
Sheridan Three: She did not notice gunther trailing him
Sheridan Three: but she made crazy turns, and parked in a strangers driveway for a moment
Sheridan Three: she was swinging at the bee and when she thought she pushed it out a window
Sheridan Three: she pulled out and went back on to the street
Sheridan Three: meanwhile Gunther was getting out and assumed this was her house
Sheridan Three: so he snuck behind a bush with the pizza
Sheridan Three: and rang the doorbell when it was quiet again
Sheridan Three: he did not see the car but assumed she put it in the garage
Sheridan Three: also he was mostly deaf
Sheridan Three: because he was in a concentration camp in south panama
Sheridan Three: and they used air raid sirens every 10 minutes as torture
Sheridan Three: and tried to extract vital cell phone manufacturing details from him
Sheridan Three: because those crazy panamaniacs just need their cell phones
Sheridan Three: and Gunther’s father was a master electonic makers
Sheridan Three: his father was also called Gunther
Sheridan Three: as well as his father and his aunt
Sheridan Three: (dont ask)
Sheridan Three: so the panamaniacs ( a legitimate ruling party in panama)
Sheridan Three: were confused and thought he was the father who could make electronics
Sheridan Three: but now
Sheridan Three: Gunther had escaped, because he pretended to be a maid servant, and they let maid servants leave for a parade on the annual maid servants day
Audience: lol
Sheridan Three: he made his way to Utah where all he could do was drive around and sell pizzas
Sheridan Three: thus the story resumes
Sheridan Three: at the house he assumes the girl went in the garage but didn’t hear the door go up or down
Sheridan Three: he attributed that to his lack of hearing
Sheridan Three: he decided to knock on the door and give the person inside a pizza!
Sheridan Three: it turned out to be a short chinese lady who was afraid of pizza
Sheridan Three: it was a fear that was like a fear of mice
Audience: lol
Sheridan Three: she jumped up on a chair and screamed at the top of her lungs
Sheridan Three: she didn’t understand what pizza meant, but the letter z frightened her
Audience: lol
Sheridan Three: she had never seen nor smelled a pizza in her life, but she read the top of the box and was petrified
Audience: lol
Sheridan Three: Gunther got back in his car and decided to leave one of his shoes
Sheridan Three: which was customary for him as a token of good will
Sheridan Three: the chinese lady didn’t know this
Sheridan Three: she got off her chair and as Gunther was driving away, she hurled the shoe at his car
Sheridan Three: she had been an olympic discuss thrower
Sheridan Three: and was 5th place in the Vienna games
Sheridan Three: the shoe went through Gunthers rear windshield and landed next to him on the front seat in a mystical fashion of extreme precision and power
Sheridan Three: there turned out to be a business card inside with only the name of “Lady M” and a phone number
Sheridan Three: he called the phone number immediately because a returned gift in his culture meant that he was doomed to die that night
Sheridan Three: and maybe this was a clue to save his life
Sheridan Three: the voice on the other end of the phone was a nice lady who talked in a sweet calm voice
Sheridan Three: she asked him what he did, and he said he had an extra pizza
Sheridan Three: so she said that she would love to have the pizza, only if she could return the favor
Sheridan Three: he drove to her house and noticed the exact same car that he followed
Sheridan Three: that the pretty girl had
Sheridan Three: he hoped with all his might that the exact same girl would be in the house and this story would end happily and all worth while
Sheridan Three: but no, she was ugly, she gave him a pot of flowers and sent him on the way
Sheridan Three: the end
Audience: lol
Sheridan Three: mmhmm, i’ve noticed that most stories get less funny near the end when they try to make the story make sense